The Whitechapel Project

Today, my distant drinking buddy and fellow asylum inmate Chuck Wendig posted a bit about the search terms people use to find his blog. David, my webmaster, was all like “Oh yeah, we can totally do that too,” and I was like “Well totally do that,” and he was like “totally, I’ll do that.” (Note: That may not be quite how the conversation actually went.) I expected a fair amount of weirdness, just because people might be searching for something in Whitechapel, London, and stumble across my site. But there is some cool, some interesting, and a fair amount of weird. Let’s take a peek into the hits, shall we?

• white chapel sweatpants: This came up a lot. A whole lot. Most of the hits were from Germany. Is there a brand of sweatpants named Whitechapel? (Answer: Kind of. http://www.imperial-clothing.com/shop/catalog/product/view/id/26403/s/whitechapel-logo-sweat-pants)
• mister poll sitting on his face: Whoever Mr. Poll is, I hope he’s feeling better.
• mur woods: I think I referenced Mur Lafferty once on the blog. Do they mean Muir Woods?
• whitechapel you really didnt need to see this: Wow. Thanks a fucking lot, Internet.
• does whitechapel inhale: No. It stabs. It stabs so much.
• chuck wendig: GET OUT OF MY BLOG, CHUCK.
• allyvie.com: A website that doesn’t appear to exist. Again, less with the subtle reminders of obscurity, Internet. Thanks.
• tiger stripes eden ep: I didn’t know this even existed until I looked it up. So… uh… thanks for the free publicity?
• myspace mission to murder
• what happened to assshare.com: Also “candy assshare.” It has to be three s’s. You can guess what kind of site it is. What does it have to do with my story of murder and amnesia?
• The Podge Cast and Bearswarm: Looks like they send a lot of traffic my way. Return the favor and give their podcasts a listen.
• little smiles car wash: This has to be a strip club. Or it should be.
• something changes when she glances: Did I write that line?
• whitechapel underwear: I’m not going to Google this one. I leave that for the reader to pursue if they desire.
• timetopuke.com mr hands: Another website that doesn’t seem to exist. Does Mr. Hands know Mr. Poll? Maybe they can go bowling or something.
• ergofiction: Ergofiction also sends me a lot of traffic. Much love!

The Internet continues to be a strange and magical place.